Articles
Sex After Divorce
Divorce is a developmental stage of adulthood. Every adult who is in partnership will, at some point lose a partner to divorce or death and will have to find their way again. The question is: What will we create out of the rubble? What magic will open up? How will we...
The 9 Steps to Sexual Empowerment
People are often confused by what I mean when I say I work with people to become sexually empowered. That there are steps to sexual empowerment. Sexuality is so vast that when people want to work on their sexual selves they often don't even know where to begin. One of...
Sex is a Skill
Most of us experience fumbly, awkward, unsexy early ventures into the forays of sexual pleasuring with a partner without sex skills. I certainly did. Why we don't learn sexual skills In a culture like ours, where we place so little emphasis on teaching sex education,...
How to Talk Openly About Sex
My path as an educator included earning a Masters in Human Sexuality Education. But you don’t have to go get a graduate degree in human sexuality to learn how to really talk openly about sex. Anyone who cares about having a fulfilling, meaningful sexual life. Anyone...
Skillful Sexual Communication in Couples
For so many years, I have heard stories from people–both men and women about their lost sexual lives, or about the lack of sexual communication in couples. I hear a lot of pain, sadness and a real loss in these stories. I hear from a lot of people who have been in...
What’s a Sex Coach?
When I tell someone that I’m a sex coach, they generally find it confusing. Often, I will hear, “Oh, so like, you’re a sex therapist?” Well not exactly. “So then, what is it that you actually do?” Sex coaching has made it to the news a few times. I was...
Am I Sexually Broken?
For a long time, I've been hearing from women about this idea that they are sexually broken. And a lot of times they are welling up with tears. This is the first time they’ve ever voiced this to someone. It’s this idea that there is something about you that’s not...
The Grief Beneath Liberation
The Surprising Grief at the Start of Sexual Healing There is a surprising grief and loss that often come up when people make the move to step into their full sexual power. When you start making your sexuality a priority, after decades of pushing it under the rug, off...
Why They Keep Trying to Keep Sexuality Down
We have been disconnected from sexuality for millennia as it became the greatest weapon by which to control people. Napoleon Hill dedicated an entire chapter in his popular book, Think and Grow Rich, to sexual energy, or what he calls, sexual transmutation. He was...
The Sexual Year In Review 2022
It’s time for the Sexual Year in Review where we look at all the notable and newsworthy moments of 2022 regarding sexuality, gender, and gender equality. Most years are a mixed bag and 2022 was no different. There were some sweet victories and prideful moments....
No More Sexless Holidays!
It’s that holiday time again, the time of joy, cheer, holy union. Time to be with family. The warmest time of the year, right? How sex falls to the wayside during the holidays While the holidays can lend themselves to a deeply sensual experience, there is no...
When Your Sexual Energy is Blocked
German-born physician-scientist Wilhelm Reich “was best known for his claims of a cosmic life force associated with sexual orgasm,” (CBS News). Because the U.S. was not ready for such a progressive, sex-positive idea, stemming from the power of orgasmic energy, his...
5 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make With Sex: #5 – Fear
#5: Not going for it, while fear leads the way. People often say it’s easier to do the freaky deeky things they fantasize about with someone they barely know, rather than a long-term intimate partner. It can feel more vulnerable to share the things that are...
5 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make With Sex: #4 – Blame & Guilt
#4: Letting blame and guilt slay your sex life (not in a good way) The fourth mistake couples make when it comes to sex involves blaming or guilting the other person. Blaming them for any sexual issues, as if blame and guilt will inspire their partner to “fix” it. It...
5 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make With Sex: #3 – Shame
#3: Shame kills sex The third biggest mistake couples make with sex is that they don’t deal with their sexual shame. Shame is keeping one or both partners from connecting or being closer. Neither of them knows how to deal with that shame. It just festers and eats away...
5 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make With Sex: #2 – Tolerating
#2: Tolerating your sex life. Some years back I was doing a private workshop for about 30 married women in a living room in the Oakland Hills and in a moment of self-effacing honesty, one of them said: “Sex is my last chore of the day.” In other words, they're...
5 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make With Sex: #1 – Autopilot
#1: Putting your sex life on auto-pilot In my 25+ years of teaching and coaching, I’ve noticed there are 5 big mistakes couples make with sex. In this 5-part series, I’ll break down each one and what to do about it so you can be the sexual rockstar of your own life...