I love to flirt.
Flirting is play.
Play is an essential part of our sacred dharma.
Flirting is sacred play.
Sometimes a flirt comes out a bit unintentionally, like the other night when I said to a friend after making a goof, “You can give me a hard time. I can take it.” We both laughed at the total double entendre.
I’ve worked with so many women who are terrified of their power of flirtation over the years…they weigh in heavily, a constant barrage of internal questions about how far they can or should go, what it means, whether it’s okay, whether it could lead someone on, forever the gatekeepers of sexual movement and progression. And then a heavy modification so they don’t spin out of line. That’s a heavy burden on something meant to be fun.
How do you get your flirt on?
What if we let go of all of that and just allowed ourselves to flirt with the world, with life, with friends, with strangers, with the wind and the sky? What if we were free to be fully sexually expressed without taking on the responsibility of what someone else might think?
I don’t mean to be inappropriate, like flirting with coworkers. Keep it for your off hours. But with reasonable boundaries, flirting can enhance and liven your day, every day. Sometimes a great moment of flirt brings a total smile and kick to your day. I think the best one I’ve heard in a while was one, my spectacular assistant, Elise got from a stranger a few weeks ago, “Wow, you make your planet proud, Earth Girl!” How can you not smile at that?!
It’s fun to make someone else’s day and more importantly, it feels good to flirt with life. Flirting is giving energy, playful attention, and focus to something or someone. It can be a compliment, a tease, an energetic exchange of glances or sexy body language. It’s the most fun when you are actually in your body and it’s coming from a real place, rather than a false put-on.
And because there is an exchange, it makes you feel engaged with life. When we are in true exchange, whether it’s money for our service, service for our time, a mutually caring friendship or a great flirtation, we are dancing in the energy of life itself. That dance helps us to feel aligned and whole in our beings. That dance is why we are here. That dance is the sacred dance of life itself.
Dancing with the energy of life
So why suppress our desire for flirting? Flirting can and is often totally harmless in the sense that it is done for fun and it is about being in the moment, not about taking us away from someone we care about. People who are in relationship and support their partner’s flirting and do not feel threatened by it are probably in a good place of balance and secure in the relationship. They don’t make up stories about what the flirting will lead to or that it will be something more than it is. Of course, if there is another intent there, that can be dealt with. But the flirting in and of itself can be harmless fun and it can be a great sexual energy builder for a relationship, whether the flirt is with your partner or with someone outside of the relationship. Of course, if you are looking to bring someone into the relationship for a threesome, foursome, or moresome, you better learn to get your flirt on, because they’ll need heavy cues depending on the context.
Sometimes people turn off their flirtation like a faucet when they get into a relationship and then they turn around years later wondering where all the sparks and the excitement went. Turning off your flirting is like turning down your own energy. Keep that energy sacred, amped and clear. Keep it in full expression. Independent. Flirt with the sun, with a tree, or a bird. It’s an essential part of the fun of life.
