I am saddened by what has happened to the city I’ve had a love affair with for nearly two decades. I’m thinking about how Hurricane Sandy reflects us and who we are sexually.
It’s like Sandy just had a big raging orgasm, one of those that takes time to gather energy, steam and power, lots of swirling and play that builds the energetic mass inside of you, until there must be some release. Bodies accelerate, move hard, push against things, chairs go crashing to the floor, lube is flying, breath is beating in and out of your mouth so hard, it feels like your heart might burst. You find your voice and with the power of your call, you blow out your own vocal chords. You curse your lover. You take them in. You become animal, connected to that primal part of yourself that craves release and pleasure.
Sandy just did that in her own way. She railed across the eastern seaboard, smashing into things, blowing us away with her breath and her tears. She was flooded with emotion, pent up, ready to express herself. She hurt some people in the way she expressed it. She was not careful and calculated. She was wild and unnerving. Unnerved, really.
I wonder how you are keeping a lid on your sexuality because you are afraid to blow like that. I’ve been talking to a lot of people about their sexual lives recently. I notice that many are used to keeping it down, keeping it quiet, keeping it intact, keeping it neat. Sex isn’t neat. It can rock you like a hurricane. It can feel that vulnerable, that big, that expressive.
You can be all of that, without hurting those who are in your wake. You can open yourself up to go deep, to build your energy, to share and receive another, to hold space for yourself and perhaps, your lover. You can be so expressive that you let go of holding what you’ve gotten so used to containing that it will have no other choice but to blow. And when you blow, it’s not pretty. It’s messy. It’s destructive.
If Sandy had let go of some steam earlier on she wouldn’t have hit NYC so hard. She had thousands of miles to build her energy so she could unleash it. So how can you unleash what you’ve built up for thousands of miles in a way that doesn’t have to hurt yourself or others? It might very well be messy. Can you let it be? Messy doesn’t have to be hurtful.
Let’s learn from Sandy and rock it in a big way that allows for vulnerability so we don’t have to blow so hard. So we can just let go, release what needs releasing and be more clear with ourselves and our lovers. Go work out. Go for a run. Jump in the cold ocean. Scream underwater. Cry into the earth and pound your fists on her. Have sex that rocks you hard. Give it back. Release what needs releasing.
Many of us are feeling sadness about the destruction that has happened. How can you feel your sadness, connect to the oneness of that sadness, release it, and move into absolute compassionate loving and giving? Don’t get stuck or stopped up in your sadness, anger, and pain. Keep it moving by feeling it and letting it flow out so you can create something new from what seems like total destruction.