My Birthday, Your Wildness

by | Jan 12, 2022 | Sexual Politics & Culture

Last Nov. 9 was my birthday–a much better one than in 2016, the day after the election, possibly one of the most collectively depressing days in recent U.S. history. I’m a words-of-appreciation lover so I do love cards and letters.

Mixed feelings this week as we experienced another mass shooting, right here in California this time. It is scary the way this is beginning to feel normalized. Mass violence is not normal. It’s a sign of something very very wrong in our society. I am sending love and light to all those who were there and the families who lost their loved ones. It’s. So. Sad.

And yet, we still have so many in our government who turn the other way because the NRA owns them. If the NRA gave a shit about anyone, they’d be working hardcore on preventing mass shootings from happening. They are not interested in the job.

But you know who is?

Our election this week was historic in many ways and it gives me hope that we can raise our voices, come together and create some real needed change in this country.

Will it be swift? No. It never is. We are talking the long game here.

We are talking about one by one, getting real advocates with fresh ideas into office, getting women and people of color, young people–all those who are basically not represented by our current majority older white cis heterosexual, Christian male Congress.

Representation matters.

We have some serious work to do on that. Now we turn our attention to our census and its accuracy, and to redrawing districts fairly and keeping a hawk’s eye on voter suppression.

Don’t stop. Keep going. Keep adding your voice to the mix. We can’t let up.

And Thank You for standing for what is right and voting in candidates who can actually lead us towards a better future than the gun-toting, NRA-pleasing, healthcare-denying, tax-frauding, patriarchy-benefitting legislators and commander-in-chief we have had.

I worked on the Katie Hill campaign locally and I am so happy and proud that she won her district, a place that was flying the Confederate flag in the 60s and had public KKK meetings as recently as the 1980s. Katie is now one of the youngest people in Congress, an out bisexual who ran a homeless services organization previously. Amazing.

What Do We Sacrifice?

Here’s the thing I’ve been thinking about a lot as I’ve watched phenomenal women run for public office for the first time and I’ve been witnessing many of my clients and students in their struggles: What do we have to give up in order to make ourselves palatable to the public, to voters, to our constituents, to our community members, to our partners and to potential dates or partners?

What is the sacrifice?

I watch many in the public arena think that they have to put themselves away, including and especially their sexuality. Women struggle with this. Clearly men do too, or we wouldn’t have such rampant sexual harassment and infidelity (people of all genders participate in that too, of course.)

We still live in the shadows of a puritanical past that would do all it could to diminish the power of women through religion, something still so alive that one congressperson won his seat by a sliver after being called out for telling women they should “submit” to their husbands and not pursue careers and public life.

He still got voted in. Wow. The things people will turn a blind eye from. Political amnesia.

Here’s a little clip if you want to hear it. GAW!

We are told over and over that our sexuality is not ours, that we must perform it for men, and that many parts of it are not okay.

I believe we are having a crisis of wildness, which is crisis of authenticity–we desperately want to be wild, unfettered, in our fullest possible expression and it continues to feel risky for most of us to allow ourselves that.

Part of why Fire Woman Retreat and other such spaces are so important is that they give us a place to be in our wildness and our authentic expression and relating. We looooong for that.

I long to be wild. To hiss away what I don’t want and to play unabashed with the playmates I do want. Do you?

We live in a world that feels unsafe and where we are often persecuted for our fullest expression of who we are so we are left to censor ourselves or face judgment we’d rather avoid. We will all watch the way the candidates above will be publicly persecuted and will have to make big sacrifices to play the game.

What I love is helping women to find that authentic expression within all of that, which is creative, sexy, dreamy, intuitive, colorful, brilliant, and as sexual as we wish.

Most importantly, it is FOR US. It does not belong to anyone else.

That wild expression, that deep sexuality, and full authenticity is your birthright.

I will go to my grave contributing to the world one woman by empowered woman. This is the work of a lifetime, and we will see it a full success when women who run for public office don’t have to put themselves away anymore or armor up their masculinity so they can be palatable.

Want to join our community of women committed to their own empowerment? It’s a fierce, beautiful tribe of women who sing a different tune, who want to howl their own song and free themselves from the bondage they have lived within. It is so powerful to behold.

Let’s talk. This work is deep and far-reaching.

Find out more about Fire Woman program

Plus, we need each other more than ever. We are not crazy to want what we want and we are definitely not alone.

Let’s birth ourselves wildly,

Amy Jo

P.S. Here’s What the Women In My Community Say About this work:

“If you’re ready to start the conversation, to come into greater relationship with your body, your desire, your sex…if you want to be held by a tribe of sisters, go here.”

“Amy Jo connects sexual empowerment work to life empowerment and augmenting our life force energy. She holds a safe and supportive container to explore and lovingly guides you along your journey, where ever you are now.”

“Do it. Amy Jo teaches with love, authenticity. She is like the Mama Bear of Sex.”


Let’s do this!

A’magine is a pioneer in sexual empowerment and her extensive real-world experience sparkles throughout this book. This is a delightful journey toward better, richer, more fulfilling sex, for women who want more joyful, creative, pleasurable lives.


co-founder of Cuddle Party

Hi, I’m A’magine

I’ve been a Sexual Empowerment Educator
[&] Coach for over 25 years

I’ve helped thousands of people improve their lives, boost their confidence, learn the art of asking for what they want, step into their power, learn to radically love their bodies, show up as emotionally powerful in their relationships, rock-star their mid-life with the best sex ever, and put in perspective and practice the very real and important role sexuality was meant to play in their lives