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The Surprising Grief at the Start of Sexual Healing There is a surprising grief and loss that often come up when people make the move to step into their full sexual power. When you start making your sexuality a priority, after decades of pushing it under the rug, off...
#2: Tolerating your sex life. Some years back I was doing a private workshop for about 30 married women in a living room in the Oakland Hills and in a moment of self-effacing honesty, one of them said: “Sex is my last chore of the day.” In other words, they're...
#1: Putting your sex life on auto-pilot In my 25+ years of teaching and coaching, I’ve noticed there are 5 big mistakes couples make with sex. In this 5-part series, I’ll break down each one and what to do about it so you can be the sexual rockstar of your own life...
It’s no secret that women are socialized to take care of everyone else. To question ourselves, and to take a back seat in business, money and sex. People teach us to be a "good girl". Where the "good girl" and people pleasing comes from As women, being second-class,...
Play is the exultation of the possible.–Martin Buber Ever since I first came across that quote by Buber, I have kept it on one of my altars at home, a daily reminder of one of my core values. Play. Sex play is a cornerstone of my work. We intuitively knew play as...
When I ask people what they most want for their sexual lives, they often say they really want more confidence. Helping people to build confidence is a huge part of my work with clients, and it’s a huge result of the work we do. So why do most people seem to lack...
I have gotten a lot of questions about how to release the sexual voice. Some people feel like their sexual voice is stifled, and always has been. Others are completely out of touch with it. And, many want to know how they can shift their sexual voice to...
It seems that more than ever, we have incredible tension between taking time for ourselves – to be quiet and to connect inwardly and to contemplate – and to be out in the world with others, staying busy and doing things. In our personal growth, we need time alone and...
I’ve been teaching workshops, training professionals, teaching college and providing in-depth programs to people for over 20 years. I’ve been a part of and certainly witnessed a whole lotta educational models and there are a few mistakes people make over and...
I constantly observe people I work with struggle about saying “yes” to what they want in their own lives, and how often people work against their own desires. And they resist it, but that's blocking the possible excitement that desire can offer them. When life...
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There is a common sexual experience that few people talk about and yet is more pervasive than most people realize.
Many adults are sexually inexperienced and this causes a slew of issues as they get further into adulthood, deeper into relationships, and well past the age when they “think” they should know.
How do we define “sexually inexperienced”?
First, we have to ask what it means to be sexually inexperienced.
Does it mean you’ve never had orgasms? You’ve only had a certain amount of sexual partners? How many? Certain types of partners? Haven’t explored sex with people of multiple genders? That you have only had certain types of sex? That you never had the sex education you know you need?
The Surprising Grief at the Start of Sexual Healing There is a surprising grief and loss that often come up when people make the move to step into their full sexual power. When you start making your sexuality a priority, after decades of pushing it under the rug, off...
German-born physician-scientist Wilhelm Reich “was best known for his claims of a cosmic life force associated with sexual orgasm,” (CBS News). Because the U.S. was not ready for such a progressive, sex-positive idea, stemming from the power of orgasmic energy, his...
The day before my surgery, I got a Facebook note from Jr. High/High School friend, saying “It sounds like you are preparing for the worst. You are going to be okay!” My Sexy Nurses! This put a smile on my face! I was confused by this because I believed that I was...
As I wrote last week, my healing process has been really beautiful, made so by my own commitment to it, my planning and my community. But that did not come without effort and a major shift in perspective. I am someone who had to grow up very quickly and was always...
As a sex coach, I’ve been talking to A LOT of amazing, available heterosexual women about what they want in a man over the last several years, and I think it’s high time I talk to you guys about it. I co-wrote Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men nearly 15 years ago to help...
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