It’s that holiday time again, the time of joy, cheer, holy union. Time to be with family. The warmest time of the year, right? How sex falls to the wayside during the holidays While the holidays can lend themselves to a deeply sensual experience, there is no...
Pleasure & Desire
5 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make With Sex: #3 – Shame
#3: Shame kills sex The third biggest mistake couples make with sex is that they don’t deal with their sexual shame. Shame is keeping one or both partners from connecting or being closer. Neither of them knows how to deal with that shame. It just festers and eats away...
5 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make With Sex: #2 – Tolerating
#2: Tolerating your sex life. Some years back I was doing a private workshop for about 30 married women in a living room in the Oakland Hills and in a moment of self-effacing honesty, one of them said: “Sex is my last chore of the day.” In other words, they're...
The importance of an opulent sex life
https://youtu.be/lsgm0m-9T2E Inspired by the beautiful landscape of Malibu, I want to talk about creating beauty in your life. A huge component of sexual empowerment is about not feeling guilty about surrounding yourself with the things that make you happy. There is...
How to Plan the Perfect Sexcation
Sometimes you don’t merely need a vacation where you can have fun and relax. You need a sexcation where you take time out of your busy schedule to not only relax. But to unplug and to specifically create lots of time for delicious sexual experiences and adventures. As...
How “Clever Complaining” Blocks Our Abundance
The idea of being abundant and creating abundance is ubiquitous, and yet so many of us have a chronic problem with possibly the biggest abundance blocker there is: Complaining. Complaining sucks the life out of your relationships and...
Sexy Come Back! The #1 Reason Sexy Goes Away
I’ve been talking to a lot of people lately who say it feels like they’re watching their sex lives just flatline, and they don’t know what they can do to change it. I’ve actually identified 6 key reasons why this can happen, and I want to share #1 with you today....
Permission for Pleasure
Sadly, it’s common for people to experience tremendous guilt about feeling good. Pleasure is one of the primary reasons we are here, and yet many anti-pleasure religions and organizations, cultural ideas and belief systems, and even our families teach us to...
Sex During COVID: How Do I Get My Sexy Life Back?
While there is still so much we don’t know about COVID, and still so much we really don’t know about sex, there are plenty of things we know that can assist us in this anything but chocolate and peanut butter combination that has many of us flatlining...
Courageous Love, Soulmates and Finding “The One”
How many people spend their lives finding “the one”? Another romantic myth that is perpetuated by many spiritual belief systems and plain old romantic folks who can’t let go of this idea that if we search the earth for that perfect fit, everything else will fall into...
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The Plight of the Sexually Inexperienced Adult
There is a common sexual experience that few people talk about and yet is more pervasive than most people realize.
Many adults are sexually inexperienced and this causes a slew of issues as they get further into adulthood, deeper into relationships, and well past the age when they “think” they should know.
How do we define “sexually inexperienced”?
First, we have to ask what it means to be sexually inexperienced.
Does it mean you’ve never had orgasms? You’ve only had a certain amount of sexual partners? How many? Certain types of partners? Haven’t explored sex with people of multiple genders? That you have only had certain types of sex? That you never had the sex education you know you need?
The Grief Beneath Liberation
The Surprising Grief at the Start of Sexual Healing There is a surprising grief and loss that often come up when people make the move to step into their full sexual power. When you start making your sexuality a priority, after decades of pushing it under the rug, off...
When Your Sexual Energy is Blocked
German-born physician-scientist Wilhelm Reich “was best known for his claims of a cosmic life force associated with sexual orgasm,” (CBS News). Because the U.S. was not ready for such a progressive, sex-positive idea, stemming from the power of orgasmic energy, his...
The Vulnerability of Healing
The day before my surgery, I got a Facebook note from Jr. High/High School friend, saying “It sounds like you are preparing for the worst. You are going to be okay!” My Sexy Nurses! This put a smile on my face! I was confused by this because I believed that I was...
The Illusion of Independence
As I wrote last week, my healing process has been really beautiful, made so by my own commitment to it, my planning and my community. But that did not come without effort and a major shift in perspective. I am someone who had to grow up very quickly and was always...
Why “Good Guys Finish Last”
As a sex coach, I’ve been talking to A LOT of amazing, available heterosexual women about what they want in a man over the last several years, and I think it’s high time I talk to you guys about it. I co-wrote Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men nearly 15 years ago to help...
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