How to Plan the Perfect Sexcation

by | Jan 26, 2022 | Couples Play, Pleasure & Desire

Sometimes you don’t merely need a vacation where you can have fun and relax. You need a sexcation where you take time out of your busy schedule to not only relax. But to unplug and to specifically create lots of time for delicious sexual experiences and adventures.

As adults, we need the chance to have erotic play together sans children and other family and responsibilities. We need space for unfettered play, languorous mornings, lots of affection and flirtation, sex in unusual places, and erotic thrills. Especially if you’ve spent too much of your time off work visiting relatives and in-laws. And keeping a lid on your sexual expression. This calls for a sexcation!

Here’s a guide on how to plan the perfect sexcation.

Designing your sexcation

When creating the vision for your yummy time with your lover(s), consider where and how your sexcation will take place.

The location of your sexcation

Are you going some place new together that you’ve never been? Are you bringing your lover to a place you’ve been before, but that’s new for them (or vice versa)? Do you want a sexy city, sexy country or sexy beach? What will get your sex juice moving?

Getting into a different location and environment allows you to step out of your typical roles as you escape everyday life. No one knows you and your relationship can be anything you want it to be. There can be a fun clandestine element that raises the erotic charge.

The schedule or your sexcation

You can schedule sexy activities like romantic dinners or a visit to a sex club in the right place. Your sexy itinerary might include a little ecosexuality where you seek out natural beauty and ecstatic experiences in nature. However, be sure to have lots of precious unscheduled time. The point is not to have to run around and be places—you do enough of that at home. Allow yourself to be lazy and generous with time, with nowhere to be.

Because we are often so overscheduled, and get stuck trying to fit sex in between the busy contours of our work and family lives, it’s also helpful to expand your idea of your sexcation beyond a formal trip where you’re both going someplace else. Even if you’re not going out of town, why not try putting an erotic twist on the staycation by devoting time at home for erotic play? You don’t have to take an 11-day trip to Belize. Sometimes just staying in a local hotel or resort together for a night or a weekend can really change it up.

And if one partner travels for business, accompanying them on their trip offers an opportunity to get out of your routines. Role play as the sexy executive assistant or corporate fluffer. This will help you discover some tantalizing opportunities for power play and erotic tension! It definitely beats being alone in a corporate hotel room.

How to set expectations and get on the same page

Who among us hasn’t experienced the disappointment of setting aside time to have a magical experience with a lover, only to find that they missed the memo and ended up overscheduled or otherwise unavailable for sexy time? For a sexcation to go well, everyone involved ought to set expectations together and ensure that everyone’s needs get met. This can be a way to build trust and get the juices flowing. 

Especially if you are going someplace new together, you’ll want to set up the communication beforehand so you can handle any uncertainties if and when they come up.

How to talk to your partner about your sexcation

Perhaps, when planning your trip together, you set aside time to each talk about your hopes and fears. It works best and people are most honest if you each write down your hopes and fears first, and then talk about them. Some examples could be:

  • I hope that this trip provides some quality time for us to get out of our routines and just enjoy being together in an unscheduled way.
  • I want to enjoy being in beautiful nature with you and feeling sensual and alive, swimming next to waterfalls and feeding each other exotic fruit.
  • One fear I have is that you’ll hear my bad Spanish while we’re on vacation, think that my pronunciation is totally unsexy, and not want to be around me. (Never underestimate the little insecurities that can come out while traveling someplace new with someone!)
  • I’m nervous that I won’t be able to relax the way I want to and that it will take time to really unwind and get into the sexy headspace I want to be in with you.
  • I’m nervous about going to a sex club for the first time. What if I don’t like it?

If you are planning a sexcation specifically to revitalize the erotic spark within the relationship, communicating beforehand in this way helps to remove the sense of pressure that makes it harder to really open up in the moment.

Another way to get on the same page and avoid the pressure of external goals is to talk about how you want to feel together. Each person involved can create a list of the core desired feelings they want to embrace during this experience, whether it’s a week-long trip to an exotic location or a weekend at home where you stay in bed until noon and don’t check your e-mail. Once each person shares their core feelings, it becomes easier to envision the kinds of experiences you might plan. For example, how might you approach a lover who listed these feelings: 

  • loved
  • desired
  • worshiped
  • playful
  • surrendered

versus these?

  • dominant
  • powerful
  • confident
  • primal
  • raw

What To Pack & What NOT To Pack

Along with your usual accouterments, like safer sex materials and toys, think about what NOT to pack when heading off on your sexcation… Definitely leave work-related stuff at home. Even the laptop can be a distraction, as it offers an opening into the Black Hole of E-mail. Bring the iPad along if you must… try queuing up some sexy erotic films to watch together. Or bring along some erotica, and read each other a bedtime story. (Don’t get your lube confiscated in your carry-on!)

Build Desire In How You Travel With Anticipation

The tickets are booked, the kids are out the door, you’ve set up the auto-responder on your e-mail. You’ve packed all your sexy things and left the computer at home. You’ve shared your core desired feelings and talked about your hopes and fears.

Now, it’s time to PLAY! Look for ways to creatively build desire and anticipation as you transition into your sexcation. Flirtation goes a long way. If you’re traveling far, perhaps you plan to arrive separately so that when you meet up at your destination, it’s as though you’re meeting for the first time. Maybe you sit in different seats on the airplane and flirt with each other at the airport bar. Perhaps you tantalize your lover with a series of erotic texts or handwritten notes, telling them what you have in store (referencing their core feelings, of course). A new sexy playlist and outfits that make you feel delicious and desirable can go a long way to amp up your own juiciness.

Hopefully, this has given you some fun ideas for how to arrange and execute a sexcation. Don’t underestimate the power of having time to not feel rushed in sex and to just be naked, free and sensual with your lover(s). It can provide a fantastic reboot, and you’ll return to work having people wonder what’s different about you. Sometimes, there can be a drop after a meaningful getaway, so plan in a little sexy connection and aftercare the week after you arrive home. 

A’magine is a pioneer in sexual empowerment and her extensive real-world experience sparkles throughout this book. This is a delightful journey toward better, richer, more fulfilling sex, for women who want more joyful, creative, pleasurable lives.


co-founder of Cuddle Party

Hi, I’m A’magine

I’ve been a Sexual Empowerment Educator
[&] Coach for over 25 years

I’ve helped thousands of people improve their lives, boost their confidence, learn the art of asking for what they want, step into their power, learn to radically love their bodies, show up as emotionally powerful in their relationships, rock-star their mid-life with the best sex ever, and put in perspective and practice the very real and important role sexuality was meant to play in their lives