I constantly observe people I work with struggle about saying “yes” to what they want in their own lives, and how often people work against their own desires. And they resist it, but that’s blocking the possible excitement that desire can offer them.
When life presents you with the next step, the next stage or thing, you can’t fight it, or you end up fighting against your own life. Life reveals itself to you in every moment. Your sexuality reveals itself to you in every moment. Your body is giving you signals about your desire all the time. However, most people have numbed themselves to many of these messages because they are uncomfortable with the idea of desire and maybe it’s hard to say “yes” to oneself. Your sexual energy is alive in you and it’s guiding you toward your yes, or toward what you desire and how to fulfill it all the time—if you will listen.
When you do not listen and you fight your own deep desires, you get confused, sad, hopeless or feel small because you are fighting against your own well of energy and your guiding force. You are holding back on your own potential. You get caught up in feelings of worthiness/unworthiness, angers and resentments, and not living to your full potential. I see people negotiating with their sexual and other desires constantly.
Is Your Desire Your Own Internal GPS?
Your desire is at work in you all the time…not just sexual desire, all desire. People often have guilt or mixed feelings about their desires. There is nothing bad or dirty about having desire. Desire gets you out of bed every day. In fact, desire is so beautiful, it’s like your own internal GPS showing you the way to live fully in your power and how to express the gifts of your own magnificent life.
We learn to push desire away, to say “no” to it, to hold back. We learn to feel bad for having a desire, for wanting more. What if you just stopped feeling bad about your desire? What if you made the decision that when a strong desire wells up in you, you’ll follow it and see where it leads you, like you would a map application that tells you the best way to get where you want to go?
Excitement & possibility
Your sexuality is your core energy. It’s the core of fire within you that burns to have experiences, to connect, to create, to bloom, to feel pleasure and joy. It wants ecstasy. If you say “no” to your own desire, you say “no” to your own ecstasy. Why would you do that?
When you get that tingle in your gut, that anchoring feeling that forms a line of gravity from the center of you to the center of the earth, that’s desire at work. It is the excitement of possibility welling up in you. It’s your body getting into alignment with what you deeply want.
What are you saying “no” to right now that you really want? You might be saying “no” to connecting with your partner, to having more love, to loving yourself, to a sexy date, to expanding your work, to making a big life move, or to feeling pleasure by punishing yourself and making yourself feel bad for the want. You might be saying “no” to a relationship, or to freedom from a relationship that doesn’t serve you. You might be saying you can’t have your parenthood and your career. So many conflicts of desire.
This week, take a look at your beautiful life and make a list of the things you’re saying “no” to. Ask yourself how it’s serving you to say “no” to each possibility? Would it add to your life to say “yes”? If so, then determine 1-3 steps you could take to say “yes” and step into what you want. And then, take the action.
I want more for you. Do YOU want more for you?
…Then say “yes” to it.