This is the most common question people ask me about my work. I answer it by telling my story of being an isolated teenager, of struggling to understand who I was sexually, to find resources to help me get through pregnancy scares, unplanned pregnancies, regretted sexual experiences and sexual assault. I talk about the young college student who finally got the information she needed to be able to have a healthy sexual relationship, complete with orgasms. The one who got so inspired by her teachers, that she decided she wanted to be one too. That’s where my journey began.
When I decided I wanted to study sexuality, there was no internet, there were few places to study sexuality and I didn’t know anyone who had ever done it personally, besides my college instructors. I had the tricky task of figuring out where one goes to study sexuality and to prepare for a field that was amorphous to me at best. After some phone book and library research and many phone calls later, I spoke to a helpful and friendly man at SIECUS and started on my path to become a sexuality educator.
Over the years, eager young sexuality students and people starting in the field have written to me asking for support on their journeys. When students write me, I want to give them the moon. I used to write generous responses filled with resources to each person who contacted me, as I wanted to return the mentoring I had generously received from people like Betty Dodson, Carol Queen, Ron Moglia, Konnie McCaffree, Elizabeth Schroeder, Suzanne Iasenza, Barbara Carrellas, Kate Bornstein, and many other incredible professionals. Over time, the frequency of those messages and my own deepening professional work meant I could no longer personally connect with each seeker.
Ultimately, I realized there is a need for a place where sexuality professionals and budding sex pros can come together to learn, to support one another, to network and to have the critical conversations we don’t always get to have because we are going-going-going in our busy work lives. So many of us are really isolated in our work and need connection with our peers.
It is out of this story, that my brand new program, SPECTRA, was born. Today we launch this professional mentorship program for feminist Sex Positive Educators, Counselors, Coaches, Therapists, Researchers, Activists and Advocates in the sexuality field. I could not be more thrilled to see this dream come to fruition.
The conversations in SPECTRA will be decidedly feminist because that’s who I am and that’s who I will resonate with. SPECTRA is the program I never had and wished I did. It will help sexuality professionals connect with each other, develop their skills, and make more money doing exactly what they love so they can serve the world in a bigger way with their gifts.
I know that I have to do my own work in order to help others do theirs. I’ve got coaches, business mentors, an awesome therapist, amazing healers, body workers, and a primary care physician who I trust to do my healing and hard work with. I’ve got my team and I’ve built my business. One thing I know is that I cannot lead someone through a process I myself have not experienced.
I could not have developed this program 10 years ago. It would have been inauthentic and premature. Today I can stand in my own personal journey of sexual empowerment, my deep work as a sexual being, my wide-ranging career, my education, my self-transformation and my business development and say, “Yes, I’m ready to help others follow their vision because I have indeed followed mine.”
As someone who has seen and followed my work and knows who I am as a professional, I’m pleased to announce to you my new endeavor. I hope you’ll help me spread the word about SPECTRA, and if you are in the sexuality field, that you will consider joining me.
Yes. Yes! YES!