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Most of us experience fumbly, awkward, unsexy early ventures into the forays of sexual pleasuring with a partner without sex skills. I certainly did. Why we don't learn sexual skills In a culture like ours, where we place so little emphasis on teaching sex education,...
I was really inspired about "Embodied Sexuality". What does it mean to fully embody my sexuality? I developed a playful new workshop for an event that I taught years ago. For me, it means a lot of things. What is embodied sexuality? My embodied sexuality means I am...
What do I mean when I talk about sexual power? There's been a lot of confusion around this. Someone once told me that having a women’s weekend called “Sex-Money-Power” sounds masculine. When I probed further, they said “power” is more of a man’s word and that women...
It’s hard for so many of us to feel true pleasure. We don’t allow ourselves to feel good. Sometimes pleasure blockers are the cause. It doesn’t really make any sense. Why? Why would we block ourselves from the pleasure and good feelings that are ours to have? If we...
Once upon a time in many cultures, there was such thing as a sexual priestess. She may not have been called that, but she was an older, sexually wise. She does sexual initiation. And an experienced woman who would take younger people under her wing to teach them the...
There have been many questions about sexual archetypes and some intrigue about them. So I thought I’d give you a little primer about my approach to these archetypes and why they matter. I believe we carry many shadows that we can’t see that need to be brought into...
My path as an educator included earning a Masters in Human Sexuality Education. But you don’t have to go get a graduate degree in human sexuality to learn how to really talk openly about sex. Anyone who cares about having a fulfilling, meaningful sexual life. Anyone...
Most of us learn about sexuality in the context of fear. We were taught to be afraid of sexuality on some level: you might get hurt. You might get an STI. You might get pregnant. He might treat you badly. She might trap you. You might get raped. Most American sex...
I’ve spent years studying how sexual confidence works. I’ve found it’s the thing everyone wants the most and yet people don’t know how to develop it. And often don’t recognize their own unique confidence style. Here’s the thing about confidence: it is not one size...
The connection between sexuality and spirituality is simpler than we make it. Spirituality is our connection to our spirit, to the non-physical aspects of self. We grow our spirituality to grow as an eternal being, as a life force beyond this physical plane. Our...
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There is a common sexual experience that few people talk about and yet is more pervasive than most people realize.
Many adults are sexually inexperienced and this causes a slew of issues as they get further into adulthood, deeper into relationships, and well past the age when they “think” they should know.
How do we define “sexually inexperienced”?
First, we have to ask what it means to be sexually inexperienced.
Does it mean you’ve never had orgasms? You’ve only had a certain amount of sexual partners? How many? Certain types of partners? Haven’t explored sex with people of multiple genders? That you have only had certain types of sex? That you never had the sex education you know you need?
The day before my surgery, I got a Facebook note from Jr. High/High School friend, saying “It sounds like you are preparing for the worst. You are going to be okay!” My Sexy Nurses! This put a smile on my face! I was confused by this because I believed that I was...
As I wrote last week, my healing process has been really beautiful, made so by my own commitment to it, my planning and my community. But that did not come without effort and a major shift in perspective. I am someone who had to grow up very quickly and was always...
Sex means different things to different people. In this post, we'll apply Maslow's popular and well-known psychological theory and come up with a hierarchy of sexual needs. It serves different purposes and needs for each person. Also, those needs can shift as our life...
Read part one It’s almost shocking that psychologist Abraham Maslow thought only 1% of people would self-actualize. He thought that "most of us function most of the time on a level lower than that of self-actualization". Source I think most people want to see...
The journey to sexual wholeness is not linear. Sometimes it’s circuitous. For the last few weeks, we have been talking about the 7 gateways to sexual empowerment, these are the gates each individual will greet and make a choice to either walk through or go back on...
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